I made a huge mistake last month. I was not there when my friend needed me. I regret this. I can't take it back, though I wish I could. I think our relationship is over due to this. It hurts. But thats the bed that I made.
Looking back at it, I think I was more MIA than I would have normally been because I felt her low key pushing me away. Last night that feeling was confirmed. A mutual friend of ours told me how when she and I came back from cali, my bestest was low key over me. I am going to assume that she was over me because I was different while in Cali. But I don't think she thought to look at how she was being toward me. I felt like she was pushing me away shortly after I arrived. Before she left we spoke all day everyday...as soon as I got there you could cut the tension with a knife it was so thick. Clearly this unresolved tension carried itself back to DC.
By the time we got back she was doing things without me and then getting on me because I was never around....What was I to do? Be there where I can clearly feel that I am not wanted? NO? So-I become MIA and now reap the consequences for not being there when she needed me. Now because of this, the friends of ours who witnessed me not being there are looking at me negatively. They don't know the whole story; they don't really know what happened.
What kills me is that I still don't know if I can talk to the friends who do matter to me about it.
