Everywhere I look a friend is getting married or pregnant. I am almost 25 and am feeling these pressures. I want a family but I want to do it the right way. At the same time I want my children to be able to enjoy their grandfather. My dad is 60 and clearly not getting any younger. I feel like I am at a fork in the road. I could get pregnant but struggle more so than I already do. Or I could wait and push through these feelings and fully take care of me first.
 I feel slightly lost because I want the companionship and I feel like I am ready for the companionship, but the choices are not what I want....minus one.
We are enjoying our friendship, but I feel like I want more from him than this. I don't want to complicate that.

I don't know i'm still working through my feelings. This is a long, grueling process.